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ROSEMARY DE CUIR
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SIBYL FARSON
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Side-by-Side
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Question: Can a job change someone’s personality? Since my friend took a truck driving job, he seems more remote and edgy. Could it be the isolation of his job? —Loretta
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DR. MASON
Response from Dr. Mason
In truth, it would be difficult to imagine a job that didn’t have an effect on personality. A recent article in the journal Neuroimage reported that healthcare professionals who feel a patent’s pain are far more apt to suffer personal distress, burnout and compassion fatigue.
Bedside manner was important in the old days when treatment still involved bloodletting with unwashed hands. A doctor who seemed to exude empathy could act as an effective placebo when there wasn’t much else available. But today, if a professional is swept up in the passion of the moment he may then be unable to marshal the cognitive resources necessary to provide any meaningful assistance.
Just starting out at a state mental hospital, I came across a David Niven look-alike sporting a green paisley ascot and reading The Times. When I said, “You don’t look crazy” he gave an appreciative guffaw and told me his kids had him committed as a means of getting his money. I listened to his story, was thoroughly convinced and brought it up at the next morning’s staff meeting. As my colleagues tittered at my naiveté, the chief resident told me all I needed to know. Clearly I’d met George…who never had any children and certainly never had any money.
On another occasion, I found myself accidentally locked into a third floor ward with about a hundred mentally disturbed patients. Making my way to one of the barred windows, I called down to three white coats that were walking below: “Hey…Help…I got locked in by mistake.” They didn’t even bother to look up.
On the job training changed my views - how not to get emotionally involved and to always maintain a sense of skepticism.
Contact Dr. Mason by email at
DrSBMason@aol.com.
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KRISTIN
Response from Kristin
Is there anything more upsetting than thinking you know someone, than having them turn into “someone else?” What I find healthy, however, is that you are NOT blaming yourself.
As far as a regular job changing you…no. At our core, we are who we are, but our working life can draw out deeper aspects of ourselves. A solitary job could make us feel less chatty, true.
I’ve also seen people in customer service get quiet from over stimulation. For example, my co-worker who answers the phone all day hates to answer the phone when she’s home.
We hear so much about stress and the workplace. Now think, for a long haul driver his workplace is his only place. Unlike my co-worker, he doesn’t have the option of not answering the phone. He is always responsible for expensive equipment and must remain alert in the foulest weather.
Also, alot of truck drivers are not 8 to 5 guys, their schedules being as erratic as their sleep. This may be why your friend has become irritable. I know of no one who is cheerful when exhausted.
If you want this relationship, then I would set boundaries of how you will allow him to talk to you, and I would urge him to open up about his new profession.
It’s possible, due to economic reasons, he feels driving is his only option, and the job is not a good fit for him. If that’s the case, encourage him otherwise. He may want to talk for another reason - you may not be the only one
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Contact Kristin by email at
bettertimesafter50@hotmail.com.
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Archived Discussions
February 2010
January 2010
December 2009
October 2009
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